I thought I'd just say hello to everyone before I go in for another round of treatment tomorrow (one down, five to go). This has not been a good three weeks. And, no, I am not as strong as everyone likes to think. I am now on a new prescription to help keep the panic attacks under control. I'm a little miffed because that was not in the book.
On Saturday, I couldn't catch my breath and started hyper-ventilating. One of the results of hyper-ventilating is tingling in the arms followed by a clenching of the hands with an inability to un-clench. Again, not in the book! Guess who got a little freaked out (me and a couple of loved ones who were watching). Being Saturday, of course all the nurses stations were closed for the weekend so I finally consented to calling 9-1-1. The 9-1-1 operator asked if I was breathing normally. As a matter of fact, no, it's quite rapid. Two minutes later I heard the sirens at the fire station which is just a block away from our house and the trucks racing down the street.
So here's the thing. We live in a very small town where everyone knows everyone and our firefighters are a team of very dedicated and compassionate volunteer men. Well, here I am lying in bed gasping for breath, hear the sirens, open my eyes and what should I see but four very handsome, rugged, all decked-out firemen looking at me. Thanks a lot guys. Now, my breathing is too rapid and my pulse is too fast. I feel like such a fool. How will I face them at the next baseball game? (I wonder if they've ever considered doing a calendar.)
On one of my better days, I got a photo of me rocking the bald. You can see my new pic on the side there. I shaved my head in preparation for baldness but so far it hasn't happened yet. Watch that be the one side effect I don't get. Haha.
To end on a slightly more serious note, please keep praying. I'm getting nauseous just thinking about the next round. They've promised to change things for me so hopefully it'll be better but at the moment that's small consolation.
Just breathe 1-2-3 just breathe 1-2-3 just breathe 1-2-3 ...
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