Episode 4: Observations

So that pretty much brings us up to today. No treatment yet but lots of waiting and wondering. This news about me has made a lot of people around me go weird. So I want to share some observations I have made and some hints I could offer. I'd like to highlight that I've noticed some people who are so afraid of saying the wrong thing that they're tripping all over themselves trying to get it right. Don't worry about it. I am so wrapped up in myself right now (more than usual) that there almost is no wrong thing. I'm not losing sleep over who said what. This is a learning process. I've never done this before and am finding out for myself for the first time what helps and what doesn't. So in the spirit of fun and education, here are my observations.

What not to say:
- don't tell me it's on account of my poor eating habits - how could someone else presume to know what my eating habits have been for the past 50 years
- don't tell me that God's going to use me to heal relationships - not my problem; they can figure that out for themselves
- don't presume to know more than my doctors - I quite like them
- don't don't don't feel sorry for me!!! If you are sad and feel sorry for me then I am obligated to try and make you feel better and well, I just don't really want to have to care right now
- don't let it change you - I'm still me and you should be you

What to say:
- tell me I'm going to save money on hair accessories - I love that
- and that I'm finally probably going to lose these extra 20 pounds around my middle, yaaay! (I mean, I can say that, no one else can)
- tell me you're going to make pie - I like pie
- share your own stories and experiences - this is a learning process and I am open to empathy
- remind me of how many people we know who have done this - I read that the rate is actually 1 in 9 women have breast cancer; that's a lot but it also shows me that this will be do-able
- visit the Breast Cancer Society of Canada's facebook page
- hugs are nice
- extra help is nice - I'm very fortunate to have a wonderful husband and mature young ladies as my children but asking them to take over all the cooking, cleaning, laundry is a bit much; offers will not be refused
- jokes are good, even "boob" jokes like "how can someone like me even get breast cancer?" Who knew? :)

End of Episode 4