Episode 2: Meltdown

Beginning Episode 2: The mammogram

On January 13 my mother and I thought we'd do a bit of shopping after my very quick and easy routine mammogram in Stratford. Mom would wait in the waiting room and I would be out shortly. Unknown to either of us, I was to go from mammogram to ultra-sound. That was not on my paperwork so I don't know if the GP had scheduled it or if the mammogram people wanted it. This is where things got a little more interesting. I could see the screen of the ultra-sound and it meant absolutely nothing to me. However, I could also see the face of the technician so I spent my time trying to figure out what she was seeing and whether or not she always looked so serious at work or if there was something interesting going on. After she was finished, she said I should wait for her to come back while she "printed" off the pictures. She didn't come back. Instead, the head nurse came in after awhile and said that normally they send people home and then make an appointment for a biopsy but since I was already there I might as well have a biopsy done right away. This is my second clue that things aren't going exactly as I had planned. I asked them to please have someone talk to my mother because she's been waiting for quite awhile and has had no word on what's happening. (And the poor thing, I hadn't told her about the lump so this is all really a surprise for her.)

All of a sudden the room is filled (5-6 I'm guessing) with hospital staff. I think they even called someone out of a meeting for this. And I am being treated with the utmost of speed and compassion. Seriously people, it's a lot of trouble for a couple of lumps. The staff are fantastic. They keep talking to me and telling me what's happening and, believe it or not, I'm keeping them entertained with funny stories. I have turned into a real chatterbox. I think I do that when I'm nervous. I don't mind. It's good to hear people laugh. And wouldn't you know it, I am one of those people, apparently a rare phenomena, who faints. One nurse explained that there seems to be a trigger in some people that when a needle hits a nerve it sends a chain reaction through that causes some people to faint. I was glad to hear this because I know I'm not a wimp but this fainting thing is honestly somewhat uncontrollable. They are so sweet. They bring me apple juice to keep my sugar levels up. They hold my feet up in the air and lower my head to keep me conscious. Nurses are my heroes. They have done three biopsies. Yes, three. I didn't know that was possible. Two on my breast and one under my arm. I guess that's my third clue that things aren't going well. We already know that under the arm is not a good place to find something, except maybe hair, if you're a guy, which I'm not. If I was I'd be telling a different story.

Finally, the dust has settled. I'm alert and sitting on the bed with the nurse. I look at her and can't hold back the tears. Sobbing, "My kids don't need this right now." She says, "Always the mother, aren't we?" Yes, we are. Who in their right mind asks their kids to even think about such things as this? I can handle anything but not the idea of hurting my children. After I'm feeling a little stronger, the nurse escorts me to a room with a sofa and disappears to make me a cup of tea, no sugar, just cream. Thank you very much. I told you they were sweet. Sitting on the sofa is my own dear mother patiently waiting for me. As soon as I saw her, I fell on her lap and bawled like a baby. All I could manage to say was, "They're worried."

End of Episode 2